EVER.
Hi. That is me, my name is Kelli.
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" - Einstein.
So, that must mean that I'm insane. I think I've been stuck in this goddamn revolving door for so long that my feet are just blindly stepping without my brain really being able to control it.
Goddammit I'm tired of circles. I love him, fuck I love him. But I can't keep this horrible cycle of tearing each other down to the point of leaving, just to make up, just to start tearing again. My poor heart has been broken more in the past 2 years than I think it has in my horrible, horrible track record of guys. I've NEVER let anyone get as close to me as he has, and apparently it was only so he could hurt me in ways I've NEVER been hurt. I knew I was emotionally distant for a reason. He says the meanest shit to me all the time.
Things I've heard RECENTLY:
1. Rum is more important than me
2. If he's not getting sex from me, he'll get it from somewhere else.
3. I'm a super bitch (which I am, but only from evolution in this toxic relationship)
4. I'm immature
5. I'm trashy
6. Fuck me
7. Get over myself
8. Call him or find another man.
9.
LIES I've heard recently:
1. He loves me.
2. He wants to work things out.
3. He wants to come over to talk
4. He wants me
5. He wants to come over and talk (after lying about it the first time, mere hours before)
6. That I am his world. (God that's cliche, who the fuck falls for that?)
7. HE doesn't want to be single.
I've officially crossed over into crazy broken heart mode. I just literally ripped up EVERY item of clothing he had over at my house, and realistically it's gonna end up in his parent's driveway tomorrow.
Fuck HIM, fuck everything. Fuck waiting FAITHFULLY for 8 months just to get treated like shit when he gets home. Things weren't perfect when he left, but goddamn at least he was nice to me.
I am officially the stupidest girl ever, and I'd like to curl up and die now.
No comments:
Post a Comment